How what you’re paying attention to shapes your emotional state
… a CBT-Buddhist perspective
If you've read my bio or earlier blog posts, you'll know that I’m both a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist and a practising Buddhist. These two paradigms deeply inform my work as a clinician and writer.
In traditional CBT, we often talk about thoughts and mental images as triggers for our emotional reactions. For example, if I think, "I can’t handle this," I might feel anxious or ashamed. From this perspective, our thoughts play a direct role in shaping how we feel, which in turn affects our physical sensations and behaviours.
But from a Buddhist standpoint—this is where it gets interesting—it’s less about the specific thought or image, and more about where our attention goes in response to them. Attention becomes the key driver, not only in the initial emotional reaction but also in how we maintain or even magnify that reaction.
Photo by Lukenn Sabellano on Unsplash
The Two Arrows: A Buddhist framework for emotional response
In Buddhist psychology, there’s a concept called the "Two Arrows." The first arrow is the initial emotional reaction—say, the fear that arises when you have a worrying thought like "I can’t handle this." The second arrow is our response to that reaction, such as worry, panic or feeling ashamed about being afraid. Often, it’s this second arrow that really hooks our attention and intensifies our distress.
Let’s break this down with an example:
First Arrow (initial fear): You might think, "I can’t cope with this presentation at work," which triggers fear—this is a normal response.
Second Arrow (response to fear): Then, you start to worry or panic about the fact that you’re feeling fearful, thinking, "I shouldn’t be afraid—I’m losing control." This secondary reaction often drives us into deeper distress.
From this perspective, it’s not just the trigger thought that causes emotional suffering; it’s how we’re attending to the initial and secondary emotional responses that followed the thought.
Attention as the central mechanism
Attention is the pivotal factor here. In CBT, we often focus on challenging and changing negative automatic thoughts into more realistic and helpful alternatives, which can reduce distress. The Buddhist approach, however, is different—rather than trying to change our thoughts, we shift our focus to what we’re paying attention to.
For instance, if I fixate on my fear and try to control or suppress it, I actually reinforce it. Focusing my attention onto "not being able to control my fear" unintentionally amplifies the fear, feeding a vicious cycle of distress. But if I acknowledge the fear without trying to push it away, and instead gently shift my attention to neutral sensations like my breath or the sounds around me, I might notice the emotional charge begins to diminish. The fear stays in the background, but by foregrounding my attention on something neutral, the vicious cycle is interrupted and my distress starts to lessen.
ADHD and the challenge of regulating attention
For individuals with ADHD, this dynamic is particularly relevant. The ADHD brain has difficulty regulating attention, meaning we may unconsciously dwell on negative emotions or reactions without realising it. A thought like, "I’m not managing this task well," can spiral into frustration or shame, because we struggle with pulling our attention away from self-critical thoughts.
By becoming aware of where our attention goes in moments of emotional intensity, we can start training the skill of attention shifting. This is where mindfulness practices or techniques from a third-wave type of CBT called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) come in. Instead of trying to "think our way" out of negative emotions, we focus on where our attention is flowing and consciously decide to place it elsewhere. This is a different mechanism from thought replacement—it’s attention management.
The neuroscience of attention and emotional regulation
From a neuroscientific perspective, this is about activating different brain networks. (For a refresher on brain networks and attention, see my previous blog.)
When our attention is focused on our fear or panic, we activate the brain’s Default Mode Network (DMN). Neuroimaging studies show that the DMN constructs emotional experiences of intense emotions like fear, anger, or disgust. It’s also involved in rumination and self-referential thinking, so when we’re experiencing these emotions, we can get thoroughly stuck in a cycle of worrying or dwelling on them. This further intensifies our distress and makes it last longer.
However, by shifting attention—whether through mindfulness, self-soothing, or simply observing our emotional state without judgment—we activate the Task-Positive Network (TPN). The TPN engages when we purposefully focus or foreground our attention on something neutral or pleasant in the present moment. This helps to calm the emotional storm.
For those of us with ADHD, where our brains can rapidly jump between thoughts and emotions, learning how to direct attention can be transformative. It’s not about controlling thoughts or feelings but understanding how attention maintains or amplifies our emotional experience.
Photo by randa marzouk on Unsplash
Conclusion: attention as the key to emotional freedom
By shifting our focus from thoughts to what we’re paying attention to, we open up a new dimension of emotional regulation. This perspective integrates both CBT and Buddhist teachings, helping us become more skilful in managing emotional reactions—especially for those with ADHD, where attention is such a dynamic and central factor.
Practical skills: train your attention
How can we apply this understanding to our daily lives? Here are a few skills to practice:
Try my Pink Elephant guided experiment: to see how foregrounding and backgrounding where you place your attention impacts on your thoughts
Notice where your attention goes: When you feel an emotion rising—whether fear, anger, or frustration—ask yourself, "What am I focusing on right now?" Is it the trigger thought, the initial emotion, or the second layer of emotional reaction?
Shift attention consciously: If you’re caught in a second-arrow reaction (like panic or shame), gently redirect your attention to something neutral, like your breath or an external object in your environment.
Mindful acceptance: Rather than trying to control or suppress your emotions, accept them. Acknowledge the fear or frustration, but don’t give it extra energy by fixating on it. Let it be without feeding it.
Task-based redirection: For ADHD, practical tasks—like organising a space, moving your body, or engaging in a creative activity—can activate the TPN and pull you out of rumination.
Loved this article … so insightful and practical. Much appreciated